Enduring Leadership Principles by
Major General (Retired) N. Lee S. Price
27 January 2018
This past weekend I had the opportunity to kick off the Wonder Women lecture series for Girlspring (Girlspring.com), an organization dedicated to empowering young women. As I thought about what I wanted to address to the young women, I reflected on my own life and thought about things I had to figure out on my own. While my conversation was geared to those 12 years old and up, I believe these leadership principles remain relevant throughout our lifetime.
- Lead yourself. Many of us dream of leading large organizations. Before you can do that, you must first lead yourself. You do that by being accountable for your actions. When you make mistakes, own them. Correct them and move forward. If your parents give you chores to do, do them without be reminded. Keep your commitments to others. This is especially true in team sports. If you committed to playing a sport at the beginning of the school year but decided it is not for you, don’t play it next year – but finish up the current one. After you enter the workforce and are given a task to do, be clear about when it is due and don’t miss the suspense. If you need more time or additional resources to complete, ask for them early in the process. After you have mastered leading yourself, others will want you on their team.
- Look people in the eye. Other cultures may vary from this etiquette, but in the U.S., nothing says respect and that you are listening better than looking someone in the eye. Shaking hands isn’t just for adults and it is, surprisingly, a learned skill. When you are introduced to others, take the opportunity to shake hands, look them in the eye, and smile. Learning this skill at a young age will make you a natural for your adult years.
- Protect your personal space. This is another trait that is different depending on the country you are standing in. Here in the U.S., anyone standing closer than 18” to you should be family or a relative. Experts refer to the 18” zone as the intimate zone. The friend zone is from 18” – 48.” Mark off this distance on the floor. If you, yourself, are a “space violator” (that is, one who stands too closely), adjust your space. If you have not yet graduated from high school and have teachers, coaches, or acquaintances that make you uncomfortable by standing too closely make sure you discuss it with your parents. Strangers and new acquaintances should generally stand no closer than 48” to you. Learn to protect your personal space by controlling your zone. If a tall man approaches me and gets uncomfortably close, I might smile and say “Nice to meet. Could you just take a couple of steps back? It would be easier for me to see you.” Or, I could respond and say “Whoa……we don’t have this type of relationship. Step back, please.” Some of you may think I missed the obvious point that, as the person having her space violated, I could just step back. Certainly, that is true, but the point is to keep your feet still and to develop ways to control the space. This is an area that it takes practice and some panache (personality) to be effective. I have been doing this for over 40 years and no one has ever not moved back when I have requested it.
- Build your confidence. Confidence is largely built on what one knows (knowledge) and experience. Therefore, when one is young, you are still learning and building experience. Guess what? As adults, we are also. Learning is a life-long skill. Let me go back to the topic of being a teammate. Great players are coachable; they listen and respond to what the coach tells them. Players sstudy the game and practice….a lot. If you find yourself feeling defensive when someone provides a critique of your actions, let me explain a better way – get curious. Ask questions to clarify what could be done better and have faith that the coach’s goal is to make you better. Now, the best piece of advice my mother gave me – stand up straight. It is a pure confidence-builder. Couple that with a genuine smile and you are well on your way to building your confidence.
- Find your word. In this day and age of social media, there are numerous ways for people to share information about you. Perhaps someone only saw part of an incident you were involved in and incorrectly reported it. Or, someone reported it correctly, but the next person inadvertently passes it on incorrectly. Learn this early in your life – you cannot control what other people think or what they will say. Therefore, define yourself. That’s right, you can define yourself. For those attending last Sunday, I provided you a list of positive words. I recommend you find a word (powerful, trustworthy, honest, etc.) each month and work at strengthening that one Next month, move to another one. Find a few words that you want to define you; mine are dignity, compassion, and respect.
- Meet “different” people. It is easy to hang out with people that are most like yourself, but by the time you hit your 20s, you need to be able to work along people that are different from you. In fact, your target goal is to relish the differences a person brings to your team. People can be different in numerous ways but here are some examples: socioeconomic, religious, gender, ethnicity, intellect, energy-level, and problem-solving style. Welcome “different” people into your group and appreciate their differences. Now here is a tidbit that most young people turn their noses up to – there will be a day when you will have to work with someone you do not like. And you know what? It will work out just fine if you have already learned to have a positive relationship with even those people you don’t necessarily like. Respect all, treat all with dignity and compassion.
I thank Girlspring for the opportunity to share my ideas on leadership and to kick off this year’s Wonder Women series. We are fortunate in the Birmingham to have inspiring leaders for the young women to meet, hear, and learn from. Till next time – stay awesome!